Las Vegas With a Nonspeaking Autistic Teen (Yes, Really)

For two years, Tosh has had only one answer when asked what he wants for his birthday or Christmas: a Las Vegas vacation. 

Yes, Las Vegas. The place with the crowds and the long lines and the noise and the smoke and the seizure-inducing flashing lights.

Tosh was an excellent traveler until puberty, Covid and Bartonella threw us for one hell of a loop. We've worked hard to get him stable and strong again, but he's doubled in size since his last vacation. Once your nonspeaker grows too large to pick up and carry out of a public space, the risks increase dramatically.

Here's how we did it.

1. Any autistic child or adult that is prone to aggression or eloping MUST travel with at least two adults. They need a personal caregiver to remain by their side and someone available to go fetch a bottle of water or a snack to avoid a hangry meltdown, to go bring the car around, to carry the bags and to peek into wherever it is you're going and see if the long line is worth the wait. I tried traveling alone with Tosh and despite his excellent behavior, we failed because we didn't have a runner. 
 

2. Preparation should begin weeks or months in advance. Tosh is a huge fan of the Google Earth app, so he's spent the last two years exploring the Strip and Fremont Street, studying every photo uploaded by Google cameras and users of the app. We studied the websites of a few hotels I knew he'd enjoy and involved him in the booking process. By the time we left he had already memorized photos of our expected hotel room, the view from our room, which restaurants we wanted to try, which attractions he wanted to see and what they looked like, and all the landmarks along the way. I prepared him for the four-hour drive by taking some day trips that were two hours one-way. We even visited a local casino and took a few strolls through the chaos to give him a feel for what he would encounter in Las Vegas. Removing as many of the unknowns as possible and allowing him to build familiarity ahead of time made a big difference.
 

3. Preparation should prioritize matching the autistic person to the destination. Tosh is a sensory seeker. Back when he was small he could handle 12 hours at Disney more easily than neurotypical kids. Now that he's older and struggles with OCD and anxiety, low stimulation environments cause him to overthink and spiral. Action keeps his brain out of fight or flight. Most nonspeakers aren't like Tosh and require low stimulation environments to feel safe. If your student's needs are different from ours, they require a different destination.

4. Make travel part of the fun. Our vacation didn't start when we arrived in Vegas, it began the day we woke up to depart. We treated ourselves to a Dunkin breakfast and rented a luxury SUV with a sunroof to make the trip itself more fun and engaging. Then we hit In N Out for lunch on the way out of town, always a treat. Turning travel into part of the experience (and splurging so I didn't have to worry about our 12-year-old SUV breaking down in the middle of the desert) helped set a positive tone before we ever reached our destination.

5. Splurge on a view. Taking things at a pace that worked for Tosh meant being able to create fun in the hotel room as a Plan B. We scored cheap rooms at Planet Hollywood and spent an extra $20 a night for a view of the Bellagio fountains. That $20 was well worth not having to fight for a place along the crowded sidewalk; instead, we watched the iconic water show in our pajamas while eating pizza and playing with fidget toys. 

6. Be open to new experiences. One of the things Tosh had communicated ahead of time was that he wanted to go shopping in Las Vegas and spend his Christmas money on new clothes. Planet Hollywood is connected to a shopping mall, so we scheduled that as one of our attractions. Typically, he prefers soft pants like sweats or basketball shorts, but he was clear about wanting to buy some jeans. For him and most of our students, jeans are a sensory-heavy choice, and I had my doubts he would even make it through the fitting room process. However, he tried on four different pairs before choosing the one he liked best. Then, he wore them out for a night on the town! This hard pants moment stood out as a meaningful sign of independence and self-expression.

 7. Don't sweat the small stuff. Throughout the entire trip, Tosh didn't experience any meltdowns or outbursts. This was not because everything was perfect, but because we had realistic expectations. For example, he gagged and threw up his breakfast during our Las Vegas buffet experience. That isn't unusual for him; in fact, he's become quite skilled at aiming for his plate and minimizing the mess. We remained calm, covered the plate and got it out of his face. Would you believe this kid caught his breath, looked over at my plate, grabbed my melon slices and kept right on brunching like nothing happened? Treating regular severe autism moments like just another day kept things from escalating. 

Every child and every family is different, and milestones don't look the same for everyone. For us, this trip was not about fitting as much fun as possible into a weekend. It was about fitting Las Vegas into our way of life. With the right planning, preparation and plenty of grace for yourself - because trial and error is part of the discovery process - your family can do it, too.